There's no prayer like desire.

by Tom Waits

"Chase away the natural,
and it comes back at a gallop."
Tuco always liked that phrase.
Even if he wasn't sure he agreed.

But he understood what Epstein meant
when he wrote about his early psychotherapy practice.
"Many sincere people drawn to Eastern spirituality
are in danger of throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
In identifying the cause of suffering as desire,
they struggle to eliminate it from their being.

A number of these people have come to consult me,
wondering why their spiritual pursuits have not
brought them the peace of mind
they were expecting."¹

Tuco thought about that call from Arleene.
She called to say bye.
Heading for Hawaii, she said,
land of beaches, sun and surf.
He asked her about why she'd quit
going to California - to Laguna Beach, Coronado Island.
She made a dismissive noise, sed "see ya" and hung up.
She sent a palm tree postcard.
Postmarked Atlanta Georgia.

"To sit with them in a room
is too feel people not quite at peace with themselves.
There can be a closed, anxious or fearful quality underlying
the way they express themselves.
When they become more honest about their desires,
a different feeling emerges.

They become more present, alive,
open
and tender.

The brittleness
disappears.
It becomes easier to breathe.

All of the feelings
that I associated with meditiation...
open up
when people become
able
to treat their desires
as their own."

Yeah, Tuco thought, Epstein nailed it.
When Arleene called this time,
she said she realized an important truth.
In California,
the ocean was on the wrong side of the morning.
Now, in Atlanta....

They talked some more,
as friends do,
then, finally its goodbye for now.
And Tuco sat in the dark for awhile
waiting out
the closed, anxious, fearful quality
wrapped around a faint scent of perfume

hanging in the air.