Yosemite Redwoods

Monarch Butterfly

"The Internet has done a lot more for truth by making things easier to discuss.
Transparency and sunlight are better than a single point of view that can't be questioned."

Esther Dyson

The Butterfly Affect

What's the saying, that "likeness leads to liking"?
Perhaps the way I will fall in love is to fall into “like” first?
How boring is that?
Put it right up on the table beside sweet.
Sweet is fine.
Sweet is slow and steady and usually wins the race.
Sweet is never fantastic.

Here is my admission.
I put way too much emphasis on passion.
I gravitate toward it like it's all that matters.
I am looking for that kind of passion that is inconvenient,
consumes you, and makes your life
filled with memories that taste really good,
and have a great aftertaste.

We esteem ourselves in our beliefs,
and when we find someone who shares our philosophy,
we grab on and name it “comfort”.

It feels right.

But it's what you're used to,
not, necessarily what's good for you.
Perhaps finding your equal isn't the goal;
maybe it's NOT about equal.

It could be about opening your eyes to new things,
things you'd usually scoff at, or things you disdain.
Maybe it's suddenly someone you are completely unsure of,
who makes you question everything,
who makes you a little uncomfortable,
who makes you embrace another part of yourself,
and has come upon you when you'd least expected it,
because you'd never expected it.

Relationships can be messy and over-analyzed,
and sometimes,
it's just this person that teaches you the lesson.

Sometimes we are too blind to see it;
we need to push our little lists aside
and embrace fate without keeping score.
It's not easy to leave a comfort zone and embrace different,
but I am giving it a shot!
It may not be perfect,
but I need to be in awe everyday
waiting for another surprise!
found poem
(title added)



The World is not Flat

I married "safe."
It lasted 25 years.
Then,
after,
I sought the type of woman
I'd avoided before.
The different type,
the one tempting fate,
the one of inconvenience.

And found her many times.
We quickly wore each other out
each time.

Finally, I know that
the way I will fall in love is to fall into “like” first,
slowly.

It worked for me before.
And it was not safe.
Love is never safe.

I wish you well
on your journey
seeking that passion
that is inconvenience.

The journey
seeking the butterfly effect.
The journey
changing the inconvenience
but, likely, not the fate.

Unless one turns
to sit down
beside another, neither silent
nor singing, in quietness.¹
RD Savage
12/25-27/05
© 2005


Meditation on Cleaning.
with love and faith
for P. and C.




Mariposa Butterfly eye masks


¹ last four lines echo lines in "The Woman," a poem by Denise Levertov
It is the one in homespun
you hunger for
when you are lonesome;

the one in crazy feathers
dragging opal chains in dust
wearies you

wearies herself perhaps...

But the one in homespun
whom you want is weary
too, wants to sit down

beside you neither silent
nor singing, in quietness. Alas,
they are not two but one,

pierce the flesh of one, the other
halfway across the world, will shriek,
her blood will run....

This poem and others by Denise Levertov are linked by Sandra M. Gilbert to describe her complexity as a person, a woman, a poet - "despite her reverence for those details of desire and domesticity which manifest 'the authentic,' she often implies that the wife-mother who is an artist, a woman who sees and says what she sees, can never be wholly one with her life, for to see is to be set apart by the imperatives of perception and expression." For some, love is about finding the middle way - neither silent nor singing.

The ache of marriage
Denise Levertov


Denise Levertov, from her final interview conducted on October 27, 1997
(she died December 20, 1997)

Does this desire to submerge the ego involve a kind of spiritual quest, whether explicitly religious or not?

I think that's true, don't you? It's in the air. When I started writing explicitly Christian poems, I thought I'd lose part of my readership. But I haven't actually. I think interest in religion is a counterforce to the insane, rationalist optimism that surrounds the development of all this new technology. This optimism is a twentieth-century repeat of attitudes in the nineteenth century, when they thought that steam, electricity, and telephones were going to make for some kind of utopia. There's a lot of dependence on technology today, and a willful ignorance that it's messing up resources, may end up destroying life on this planet, and then we'll have to start over without it. Our ethical development does not match our technological development. This sense of spiritual hunger is something of a counterforce or unconscious reaction to all that technological euphoria.

later
Is prayer similar to poetic inspiration, in that you can't force it, but simply must wait and hope for it?

But you do have to focus your attention. I was really amazed at how close the exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola were to a poet or novelist imagining a scene. You focus your attention on some particular aspect of the life of Christ. You try to compose that scene in your imagination, place yourself there. If it's the Via Dolorosa, you have to ask yourself, are you one of the disciples? Are you a passerby? Are you a spectator that likes to watch from the side, the way people used to watch hangings? You establish who you are and where you stand and then you look at what you see.



She forged a middle path in modern poetry, marrying the hard, dry objective style of the Imagist poets with the music and metaphysical yearnings of figures such as T.S. Eliot. Like her mentor, William Carlos Williams, Levertov excelled at the direct presentation of the object, and yet she went further, endowing such objects with rich metaphorical significance.
from the Poet's & Writer's introduction to the interview

She is one of my favorite, respected poets. 



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