The Tibetan Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön
likens our ego to a room,
a protective cocoon we spin exactly as we’d like it.
The temperature is always just right,
we hear only the music we want to hear,
we eat only the food we want to eat,
and perhaps best of all,
we only allow the people we like into our room.
In short, we make our life exactly the way we want it -
pleasing, comfortable, and safe.
 
But when we step outside the room, what happens?
We meet the messiness of everyday life,
particularly all those irritating people
we’re trying to shut out of our room
and all the difficult and unwanted situations
we’re trying hard to avoid.
The more we meet this unpleasantness,
the more we want to retreat into our room,
our protective cocoon. We close windows
and even cover them with bars and shutters.
We put special locks on the doors.
We do whatever we can to shut life out.

by Ezra Bayda
being zen
bringing meditation to life

XIII

Tuco turned toward the muttering
even before the woman stepped into view.
Her face reddened, eyes teared,
stiff legged, she turned the corner
and nearly ran into him.
 
“You OK?” Tuco asked.
“No,” she said as she brushed past.
Her pace steady, stiff yet swift.
Tuco watched until she entered the store.
 
He turned to continue. Arlu was
leaning against the wall by the corner.
“Friend of yours?” he asked
attempting a light tone
and regretting it as soon as he said it.
 
Arlu straightened, said “Nope” and turned away
as they both walked on past the corner
heading home.
“She was once,” Arlu finally said.
“But... well, I changed
or she did
or neither
or both.
I don’t know anymore.
I just know there be walls between us.
And I’m locked out.”
She smiled, finally, just a bit.
 
Tuco let the patient silence wrap them both.
He knew that pained look well.
It was looking back at him one time
from the mirror he was shaving before
long, long ago.
 
We are who we are, he thought.
Anything else is dishonest.
Even if it is to ease the path of another,
it is dishonest and is
an abandonment of hope for each
and both. That dishonesty
was what he saw in the mirror.
And the pain of losing twice,
the other and, for the moment, self.
 
He turned to Arlu
kissed her shoulder
stood by her
watching the setting sun.
What a magnificent day! he thought.
She looked at him
and smiled.
The glow of sunset flushed their faces.