“There's true love to be had in marriage,
but we have to divorce ourselves from adolescent fantasies.”

by Rozmarija Grauds
comment to article in New York Times titled The Resilience of Modern Marriage

I

Arlu considered the comment, rolled it around in her head,
"we have to divorce ourselves from adolescent fantasies."
She thought about growing up out on the ranch
and dreaming of some prince swooping in and saving her
from the mundane.

But when her prince arrived he taught her
how unmudane her life on the ranch was,
how special and unique each birth was,
be it baby or calf or foal.
And how special and unique each death was,
be it human, bovine¹ or horse.

II

It is a wonder how he changed her life.
She came to love the cabin they had in the mountains
even more remote than the ranch had been.
And now they have their own ranch
nestled in a valley off the beaten path.

Rare the visitor that finds their places.
Yet there are constant trips to visit friends
in town or on other ranches.
They never find their life idle or solitary.

III

Arlu turned to the comment again,
“There's true love to be had in marriage,"
this was clear to her even as she puzzled over the how of it.
Perhaps, she thought, adolescent fantasies come in many forms.
Not just the silly girl dreaming of a prince
but also dreaming of the wildly different life that he brings to her.

Yes, she thought, that is the truth about the fantasy,
it is the falsity of the wildly different life.
Arlu knows, "Life is Life," with mystery enough
to not need fantasy.