Recently, I asked my dad when he retired. He thought back and talked about when his professional career ended. But I remember him working years past that. He'd bought trailers and rented them. Mostly in a small town where there was an opportunity and he knew folks that would look after his interests while he and mom did road trips - family gatherings, family visits, genealogy research.

I didn't mention this extra career, he would have dismissed it. But at 80, he was able to fix the evaporative coolers on those trailers when needed. Better than I could at my tender age just past 50.

What is remarkable is his doing that even as, unknown to him, osteoporosis was damaging his back. By 85 he was hunched, lively but declining. A year later he lifted a can of asphalt sealant out of his car trunk and fractured vertebrae. He'd been told to not lift something that heavy. But he looked around and there wasn't anyone around he could ask. So he did it himself.

That's my dad.

A year or so later he had some skin cancer issues. Removed, and we crossed fingers.

But the cancer returned last year. Removal was more complicated now, required some bone removed. And, given his back and head wound, he now slept in a hospital bed at home, provided by the VA.

There was reason to think it was back again early this year. So various consults, opinions, tests. Then dad began to have trouble with one leg not working well. Then he fell and banged his head... bad. So off to the hospital and more tests.

My mom and brother kept me posted during the week. As the news turned, I went down. On Wednesday March 12th we got the news that there wasn't much more that could be done. Dad was ok with that.

The choice was at-home hospice care or hospice facility care. Dad's preference was at-home and we were fine with that.  While the forms were processed, some of us went to the cafeteria for lunch. Coming back we find the paperwork wasn't quite complete. My having  medical power-of-attorney for my dad,  I needed to be  present when  it was all  described to him and he signed. I didn't sign, but I needed to hear his wishes and his commitment to DNR.

He was home that afternoon. A new routine began, weekly visit by the hospice nurse while an aide came three times a week to bath dad and change the bedding, and a volunteer to sit with him so mom could get out once a week.

My son spent a week with them. In part, he organized dad's office, which dad would never use again. Dad had a unique way of organizing his business papers and genealogy documents. It was thorough and complete, but unique.

I began to take Family Medical Leave every other weekend so I could spend extended time helping as best I could.  I came to worry about my dad's  constitutional core being so strong that  this would be drawn out, that his heart was strong enough that it would be a struggle for my mom to endure.

But on the afternoon of Saturday April 19th,  the weekend hospice nurse called me to recommend we move him to the hospice facility. It was too late to really do anything that day so I drove down Sunday. He'd been in a coma for over 24 hours. Mom was reluctant to agree but we talked it through and I placed the call and we had him at the facility by 2. He passed away that evening at about 7.

A fine memorial service was held on Saturday May 3rd.

Something I read recently had this advice for moving forward: "look for the second right answer." Dad did that. And taught it by doing.

Dad had traced our linage back to a John Savage born in Cheshire England in 1630. John came alone to this country at age 16. He helped found a town in Connecticut. Married in 1652. His oldest son (John) was born 10 months later. John Jr's oldest son (Thomas) surviving infancy was born August 21, 1684. Thomas' second oldest son (Thomas) surviving infancy was born in 1714. His son Francis was born in 1762 and had a son Portus born 1804. Portus had a son George born 1856.  George had a son Emory born 1870 who had a son Clare born 1895, who was my dad's dad.

Dad was the oldest, Clare was the oldest, Emory was the oldest surviving infancy,  George W was the middle son.  Portus was one of the later children and Francis was the youngest.  Thomas was in the middle while his dad, Thomas, was the oldest surviving infancy. John was the oldest and first born in the Americas.

I know dad traced the Savage name back to the Normandy conquest of England. Both dad's paternal lineage and my mom's paternal lineage came out of France to England at that time. The two became one in the plains of Kansas centuries later. Sixty eight years ago this July they were wed. The journey goes on.